Im a little troubled - United Bimmer Community

**jybute** · 08-29-2006, 08:14 PM

Thanks in advance for any and all counciling.

I am married to a great lady. Really great. She is form eastern Europe, but is raised as a Canadian. She is of a certain ethnic background that is involved in one of the major conflicts on our planet as we speak. She does not practice any religion, but she is very aware of her background. She is very level headed in regards to this conflict, but like anyone in the world, she is very protective of people that share her same ethnicity. Now, her family is extreme, in their stance against the force that is supposedly causing the conflict. Now, when there is any "family" function, I am always caught up in these conversations that I dont always agree with. I know I probably sound like the wrong kind of person, but the reason I dont always agree, is that I dont know how to get informed. And frankly "CNN" is not a reliable source, particularily on international matters. I am very compasionate, and usually very understanding, but I find it very difficult to be around people who are so upset all the time. There are so many things I want to say to them, but I will be taken the wrong way.

Anyway... just had to share with an impartial audience.

**Hoppy** · 08-29-2006, 08:34 PM

well first lets drop euphemisms and use specific nouns.

from first reading you seem too affraid to upset anyone,your afraid to say your wife is of (Muslim?) descent, your afraid to say what you think, your afraid to simply tell the inlaws that you dont want to be part of the convo.

not to start up with more crap but iv noticed that its a more and more common theme in people. everyones to afraid to say what they think.

**jybute** · 08-29-2006, 08:37 PM

Actually she is jewish, and her family is very difficult to talk to on these matters, or maybe I am too abrasive to bring them up properly?

**jybute** · 08-29-2006, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoppy

well first lets drop euphemisms and use specific nouns.

not to start up with more crap but iv noticed that its a more and more common theme in people. everyones to afraid to say what they think.

I know I am... we live in a censored, politicaly correct media age where if its not on TV it cant be the truth. I know that sounds a little cynical, but can you truly tell a muslim/jewish person that to kill one another over land -as wrong as that may seem to you or me- is counterproductive?
I dont know every jewish person in the world, but the ones I do know look at me like Im missing a few organs.

**BMWLotAttendant** · 08-29-2006, 08:56 PM

So what are you asking?

**Hoppy** · 08-29-2006, 09:29 PM

i dont think hes asking anything i just think hes venting.
heres my general rules of conversation
avoid religion and politics
if pushed into one of the two. state how you honestly feel, that way you will never have to worry about what you lied about last time.
when, and they will, treat you like your trash for the simple fact that you think differantly just ignore them, and find confidence in the knowledge that your a better person. dont try to prove your point, dismiss thier accusations of being "a moron" "stupid" ect and just walk away. shes already yourwife, so its not like you have to get thier approval

never explain. your friends dont need it, and your enemys wont believe you anyway.

**german speed demon** · 08-30-2006, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hoppy

never explain. your friends dont need it, and your enemys wont believe you anyway.

Good point. I agree whole-heartedly.

**RSF5** · 08-30-2006, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jybute

I dont know every jewish person in the world, but the ones I do know look at me like Im missing a few organs.

Hey now they have no right to blam you for something you have no control over, you might be different but your still your wife's husband and a member of their family then. As much as there is going on they should not treat you any differently as they would another member of their family. Sure people's view sometimes differ it's just sad that in todays age it has become so extreme that it brings with it sheer hate that effects everyone on both sides negatively instead of understanding.

**RSF5** · 08-30-2006, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jybute

I know that sounds a little cynical, but can you truly tell a muslim/jewish person that to kill one another over land -as wrong as that may seem to you or me- is counterproductive?

No one can. How many presidents have tried and failed? They each believe that God himself has dictated to them that they are doing his will; they have been told this from birth as their parents were told. Could you imagine the mentality of someone that has been raised on those principles? How utterly hell bent they are to full fill their duties, their willing to kill themselves for their cause. Who could possibly bring clam against such utter determination?

**c1apton** · 08-30-2006, 10:57 AM

- This that mentality you were speaking of;

**Dudesky** · 08-30-2006, 12:19 PM

If you don't know enough about the subject, detach yourself from the conversation. Resist the urge to 'correct' them; the thing we always forget is that everyone has a right to their opinions, no matter how silly they might be. If they accuse you of not caring, you should stand your ground- having no opinion is just as valid as having one, and they need to respect your right to refuse. Beyond all, these conversations shouldn't be driving your marriage to your wife

**xsperf** · 08-30-2006, 12:35 PM

waiyte, wat? eastern european? jewish? isreal isnt in eastern europe you know? i think you know that as well, so can you tell me what country? is it Poland? wats goin on in Poland?(sorry if thats one of the dumbest questions in the world)

**dinan540** · 08-30-2006, 12:50 PM

I too married a Jewish gal and am in the process of converting. I understand the way you are feeling, but since the conversion process, I am beginning to understand why Jews feel the way do. I urge you to visit Israel sometime, it will change you, it did me.

Living in this Hemisphere, we are isolated from the world. We have a media that is extremely slanted. If you follow European news, it is very anti-semitic. If you follow the news from Israel, it too can be biased. We have to sift through a lot of information and formulate our own opinion. Going back in History, the Jews have been persecuted and ousted from many places. The most recent was the Holocaust. Their Temple was destroyed 2x in history and Judaism almost was destroyed. It has remained strong and dynamic. One of the reason it has been able survive is the fact that it will change with the times, unlike other religions.

I am off my soapbox.

**jybute** · 08-30-2006, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dinan540

I urge you to visit Israel sometime, it will change you, it did me.

Living in this Hemisphere, we are isolated from the world. We have a media that is extremely slanted.

.

As much as I would like to visit isreal sometime, it is not an option now for more than the obvious reasons.

And your point on where we live seems to be my biggest problem.

**jybute** · 08-30-2006, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xsperf

waiyte, wat? eastern european? jewish? isreal isnt in eastern europe you know? i think you know that as well, so can you tell me what country? is it Poland? wats goin on in Poland?(sorry if thats one of the dumbest questions in the world)

She is actually from Russia, Belarus to be exact.

And dont worry... nothing is going on in poland. Im talking about Isreal.