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Old 02-18-2006, 12:41 AM   #1
Numark318i
 
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Help with grammar wording.
"Turner European Construction proudly serves the entire Bay Area with all your home remodel projects. We can help make your remodeling dreams come true. "

tell me how that sounds.
Its for the back of a post card.
Advertising for my dads business.
Dont know why im writing like this.
Help.
Crituque.
Tonight would be good.

Thnx
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Old 02-18-2006, 12:46 AM   #2
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wouldn't it be home remodeling projects?
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Old 02-18-2006, 01:05 AM   #3
Numark318i
 
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well...hopefully nothings wrong with it cause im burning the pdf to a cd.
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Old 02-18-2006, 05:38 AM   #4
Dudesky

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Storamin
wouldn't it be home remodeling projects?
Yes. And the word "of" is also missing. To eliminate word redundancy, maybe it should read:

"Turner European Construction proudly serves the entire Bay Area with all of your home improvement projects. We can help make your remodeling dreams come true. "
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Old 02-18-2006, 10:00 AM   #5
catalyst

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dudesky
Yes. And the word "of" is also missing. To eliminate word redundancy, maybe it should read:

"Turner European Construction proudly serves the entire Bay Area with all of your home improvement projects. We can help make your remodeling dreams come true. "
^ That does sound better.
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Old 02-18-2006, 01:13 PM   #6
Numark318i
 
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well...to late now.
haha thnx though
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Old 02-18-2006, 11:40 PM   #7
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Dudesky's is what I would use.
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Old 02-18-2006, 11:54 PM   #8
BMWLotAttendant

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Yeah, I was going to say....redundancy of wording.

Looks good now.
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