Why Mr. T > Chuck Norris > Vin Diesel (wtf harry?)

[donald1476]

Mr. T
survived a roundhouse kick to the face from Chuck Norris. He was the first and
only one to do so. However, he barely survived.

Mr. T's
incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code
doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but
T's.

23. That's
the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this
sentence.

Mr. T's
edition of the VH1 show 'Where Are They Now' was the shortest in the show's
history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words
"Right Behind You" written on it.

Mr. T
doesn't obey the second law of thermodynamics. It obeys
him.

Before Mr.
T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.

Mr. T is
allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through
doors.

Mr. T's
hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can triangulate the
exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold chains can then transmit
pity to those coordinates.

The last
time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next
proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human
history.

Mr. T was
fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting
pain.

Despite
popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear
his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

When the
end of the world comes, it won't be referred to as "Judgment Day". Rather, it
shall be called "T-Day", when Mr. T ends the world by simultaneously pitying all
six billion fools on this planet to death.

Mr. T made
his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum
physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.

Originally
the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically
engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed
the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot
episode.

Mr. T
rejoiced as President George W. Bush was elected to office, as the coming
administration would assure that he would never run out of fools to
pity.

When Mr. T
cuts onions, it's the onions doing the crying.

The
Manhattan Project really did not create the atom bomb, but instead put the pity
Mr. T distributes, in a bottle and then dropped it on Japan.

When Dr.
Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he
turns into Mr. T.

Mr. T took
Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big
Bang.

If you were
ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two
hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the
Sun.

Osama Bin
Laden isn't hiding from the US, he's hiding from Mr.
T

Mr. T
invented cryogenics for the sole purpose of turning fools into Pity Pops, which
he then sells to buy more gold chains.

Mr T
defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you're still alive, it's because Mr
T loves you.

The
vegetarian group PETA one time tried to establish the catchprase "We PETA the
fool who eats animals." Upon learning of this blatant theft of his catch phrase,
Mr. T founded McDonalds.

Mr. T once
got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had
cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and
Webster.


And hopefully that'll put an end to those others.

[witeshark]

This is truly amazing!

[c1apton]

I can't hardly see the keys

[xsperf]

Originally Posted by donald1476

The last
time Mr. T went to McDonald's, Ronald McDonald greeted him. What occured next
proved to be the most violent beating of a clown ever recorded in human
history.

The
vegetarian group PETA one time tried to establish the catchprase "We PETA the
fool who eats animals." Upon learning of this blatant theft of his catch phrase,
Mr. T founded McDonalds.

.

[donald1476]

I didn't write it.

[Numark318i]

lol good one

[nick_318is]

Thats pretty funny, Mr. T owns.

[komodo]

Hahaha.

[bitcore]

Mr T's the shit. During thanksgiving my cousins were saying these jokes, but about chuck norris. This shit's so funny.

[DEATH2000]

Ilove the thing about Mr. T and Mcdonalds, thats just classic

[c1apton]

Pity this...

[c1apton]

www.fuckusama.com/mrtvsbinladen.swf

[witeshark]

Funny!

[///Milk]

Hahahah, that's some funny stuff.

[komodo]

Originally Posted by ///Milk

Hahahah, that's some funny stuff.

MILK! You're alive!!