Awesome Thread: You Know You Drive A BMW when: - United Bimmer Community

**delmarco** · 07-24-2005, 11:16 AM

So BeachBunny from San Diego started this awesome thread in another BMW forum and some dumb ass members over there fucked it up buy hijacking it with nonsense. I had to bring it here to united...I don't care..but you guys just add to this and it will become very funny as we all see how much we have in common

DELMARCO's TOP 20!!!!!

You know you drive a BMW when

0- You never fart or break wind in your own car, even when you are alone...with the windows down....

1-You join a forum to learn how to DIY in order to save money and when you get some project right. You begin a crusade to put down costly BMW dealerships.

2-You will swear to your friend in the passenger seat that you hate EVERY fucking SUV there ever was and then a minute later an X5 drives by and you are swearing how much you love the X5...and then you tell your friend that you said you hated all SUVs...not SAVs!

3-You coordinate where you park and were you can possibly view your car from your office window or cafe table.

4-Whenever people ask hows your car it usually becomes a conversation on how much money or DIY time you recently spent on cooling problems or electrical problems.

5-When you see another BMW in an accident or on the side of the road...you either pull over to donate you DIY knowledge learned on a forum, or slow down to watch.

6-When you see a Mercedes or Jag on the side of the road you smile to yourself that you are lucky to drive a BMW and not those other crappy luxury car.

7-You can automatically translate every warning check light on your dash into either American dollars (or the currency of where you live) or the DIY time and process for fixing it.

8- You always fold your mirrors in...even if you are parked in closed garage...just in case

9- After Parking, you always look back....always!

10- Everytime you get in your car and stick your key in...it feels like the first time!

11- Everytime you get in another brand car...you automatically critcize the placement of every buttons and guages on the dash.

12- You meet and fully interview every Valet guy before giving them your keys. You also watch closely as he drives off with your car.

13- You watch everyone that gets into your car especially kids ...like the same way ghetto black people are watched and followed around in korean grocery stores.

14- Even though you already own a BMW you are constantly shopping around (or on Ebay) for other same model BMWs or shopping around for older model BMWs.

15- You wished you lived in another place where you can drive more, at faster speeds and without any traffic or traffic lights.

16- Its 0 degrees outside and about to snow and you're the only one in your neighborhood with a bucket of hot soap water, a wash rag, and a bottlle of wax trying to wash the road salt and grime off your car.

17- You tell people BMWs are not for luxury or speed, but for handling, ride and style.

18- You are always wondering if you can afford NOT to trade in or sell your current BMW in the future when you go to get another BMW. So that way you can own more than one BMW.

19- Whiles most people leave their cars at the mechanic for a days job, and go away to do other tasks you take the day off of work and STAY at the mechanic's shop to oversee all the owrk done to your car and you will sometimes tell them how to do their job and to becareful with shit.

20- You drive to work and park in the lot and feel like the boss of everyone...until you walk into the office.

**zeaq328i** · 07-24-2005, 11:26 AM

You know you drive a BMW when

Money is easily gone through high petrol consumption, expensive maintenance and expensive insurance($1300 per yr)

**komodo** · 07-24-2005, 12:33 PM

Haha, nice ones delmarco!

-You know you drive a bmw when you loudly curse and yell when you walk to your car in a parking lot and find a bird got it.
-When you're driving down the road and someone in an m3 flashes their lights and thumbs up because they see you're driving a modded bimmer too.

**zeaq328i** · 07-24-2005, 12:37 PM

You know you drive a BMW when
-People admire your car!!!!

witeshark · 07-24-2005, 12:44 PM

You know you drive a BMW when you turn down the music to hear the cam sing at 4000 to 5000 RPM

**defkon99** · 07-24-2005, 12:48 PM

You know you drive a BMW when the the guy in a next car is revvin his enigne and thinks hes got a chance

**beem** · 07-24-2005, 12:54 PM

...when you laugh out LOUD, even if you are alone, at a fwd car with a wing on the back. or stickers. or fart cans. or anythign alike

...when every time bug hits the car, you feel their pain. Mostly for the clean car though

**brien4787** · 07-24-2005, 01:18 PM

1
3
6
9
11(i see a lot of cars, i valet, so some are rad, but most of the time, i agree)
12(oh god, dont valet your car....)
14
17
18

**spiff** · 07-24-2005, 01:21 PM

-You're community of enthusiasts is bigger then any other.
-People think you're rich because you own a BMW.
-Your car has less hp then the car you beat on a track/canyon/straight.
-Your car catches people's attention.
-Delmarco uses too many "!'s"

**94bmw325i** · 07-24-2005, 02:07 PM

: spiff can't emphasize Delmarco using "!'s" enough haha
: half of the garages like pepboys, etc won't even work on your car, Midas would only do brakes and AC on my car lol.

**delmarco** · 07-24-2005, 03:12 PM

There is special Luxury menu for you at the oil change place/parking garage that entails you pay the same amount of extra dough as someone else who comes in with his/her $115,000 2006 M. Benz S55 AMG! even though your 10 year old E36 BMW is currently worth less than a 2006 Hyundia Elantra....it is still considered far more valuable than that Hyundia POS according to the "luxury menu" and in minds of people who know, work on and park cars for a living....and as you shell out extra dough for the service you manage smile to yourself because this somehow gives you pride in ownership!!!

**komodo** · 07-24-2005, 04:38 PM

^^^ soooo true.

**ivopivo** · 07-24-2005, 04:58 PM

.. when you are driving, either on street or hightway, and some asshole does something stupid and scares the shit out of you cuz he might have scratched your car even a bit and then you start cursing every possible word in every language you know

(this happens to me a lot) haha i agree with the first post completely, especially turning back... I actually walk backwards

**Longhairedhippy** · 07-24-2005, 08:38 PM

...when the word "dinan" makes you drool
...when you go out in the garage for no other reason than to stare at your car and wish you had parts for it
...when your 323Ci gets respect from a WRX STi

**Rooz** · 07-24-2005, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by delmarco

[SIZE=2]So BeachBunny from San Diego started this awesome thread in another BMW forum and some dumb ass members over there fucked it up buy hijacking it with nonsense. I had to bring it here to united...I don't care..but you guys just add to this and it will become very funny as we all see how much we have in common

DELMARCO's TOP 20!!!!!

You know you drive a BMW when

0-
1-
2-
3-
5-
6-
9-
10-
11-
12-
13-
15-
16-
17-
19-
20-

I agree with all of those

-You try to never park between cars with long doors