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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Old 04-06-2006, 01:23 AM   #1
c1apton
 
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Subject: TWENTY-FIVE THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED...


> TWENTY-FIVE THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED...
>
> 1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
>
> 2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
>
> 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in
> a garage makes you a car
>
> 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
>
> 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
> before.
>
> 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
>
> 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
>
> 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
>
> 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
>
> 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
>
> 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
>
> 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
>
> 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
>
> 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
>
> 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
>
> 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
>
> 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
> change places.
>
> 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
>
> 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks
> before you need it.
>
> 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
>
> 21. Experience is a wonderful thing.
> It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
>
> 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
>
> 23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
>
> 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real
> world.
>
> 25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
>
>
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Old 04-06-2006, 01:33 AM   #2
doughboyea
 
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25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

26. It's the spandex that does.

Nice... hahaha
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Old 04-06-2006, 02:22 AM   #3
komodo
 
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haha!

Quote:
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
So true.
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Old 04-06-2006, 05:19 PM   #4
DEATH2000
 
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Your Ride: 1998 E36 328i sedan
hahaha those are awesome
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Old 04-06-2006, 05:52 PM   #5
witeshark
 
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Haha!
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Old 04-06-2006, 10:23 PM   #6
94bmw325i
 
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Your Ride: 94 bmw 325i, 97 vw golf
cool info
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