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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Unread 04-06-2006, 01:23 AM   #1
c1apton's Avatar

Name: c1apton
Title: Upgraded Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Pompano Beach,Fl /Edina,Mn
Rate My Car: 134 / 340
Your Ride: 93 E34


> 1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
> 2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
> 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in
> a garage makes you a car
> 4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
> 5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
> before.
> 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
> 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
> 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
> 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
> 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
> 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
> 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
> 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
> 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
> 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
> 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
> 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
> change places.
> 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
> 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks
> before you need it.
> 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
> 21. Experience is a wonderful thing.
> It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
> 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
> 23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
> 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real
> world.
> 25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
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Unread 04-06-2006, 02:22 AM   #2
komodo's Avatar

Name: komodo
Title: Administrator
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Athens, GA
Rate My Car: 68 / 340
Your Ride: 1995 M3

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
So true.

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Unread 04-06-2006, 05:19 PM   #3
DEATH2000's Avatar

Name: DEATH2000
Title: Moderator
Status: Offline
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Rate My Car: 111 / 340
Your Ride: 1998 E36 328i sedan
hahaha those are awesome


New to United Bimmer? Check out our Introductions and Greetings Section and introduce yourself today!

E36 Bentley Manual PDF download avilable HERE
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Unread 04-06-2006, 05:52 PM   #4
witeshark's Avatar

Name: witeshark
Title: Suspended License
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Miami FL
Rate My Car: 84 / 340
Your Ride: 89 325i 5 speed
Send a message via AIM to witeshark
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