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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Old 01-24-2006, 12:22 PM   #1
Dudesky

Name: Dudesky
Title: Run Far
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Jersey City, NJ
Rate My Car: 106 / 340
Your Ride: E39 530iA
Top ten musings of 2005

10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

6 - Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration...
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Old 01-24-2006, 12:30 PM   #2
komodo
 
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Location: Athens, GA
Rate My Car: 68 / 340
Your Ride: 1995 M3
Haha, those are great.
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Old 01-24-2006, 12:35 PM   #3
Hoppy
 
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Name: Hoppy
Title: fueled by bourbon
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Location: Agawam/Bridgewater,MA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dudesky
9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


6 - Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

I LOVE IT!! i love pointing that out to health nuts " hey, i may die of a heart attack from all this read meat, but i wont linger on the boarder of death when im almost 90"
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Think box wine is great; eagerly awaiting box whiskey.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RSF5
Well yeah, the BATFE is like the Anti Hoppy.
Well hey, hey Mr. Policeman
Bet I can drive faster than you can
Come on Hoss, let's have some fun
Go on shoot me with your radar gun
You look bored and I sure am
Catch me if you can.
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Old 01-24-2006, 02:15 PM   #4
xsperf
 
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Name: xsperf
Title: United Baller
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Syracuse, NY
Rate My Car: 185 / 340
Your Ride: 95 325is
yes, i hoppy, +1 for your post! the way i see it is, eat healthy, die anyway
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I keep forgetting that - I have a great memory but it doesn't last long

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