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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Old 11-24-2005, 05:19 PM   #1
xsperf
 
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Name: xsperf
Title: United Baller
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Syracuse, NY
Rate My Car: 185 / 340
Your Ride: 95 325is
Men vs Woman(showing up rooz)

How to use an ATM machine...

MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Wind down your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
3. Re-start stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card
6. Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
12. Enter PIN
13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Re-check make-up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and put cash inside
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book
19. Re-check make-up again
20. Drive forward two metres
21. Reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card
23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder and place card into the slot provided
24. Re-check make-up
25. Re-start stalled engine and move off
26. Drive for 3 - 4 miles
27. Release hand brake
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I keep forgetting that - I have a great memory but it doesn't last long

CRS disease = Can't Remeber Shit
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Old 11-24-2005, 05:22 PM   #2
Hoppy
 
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Name: Hoppy
Title: fueled by bourbon
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Agawam/Bridgewater,MA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xsperf
26. Drive for 3 - 4 miles
27. Release hand brake
haha i love it!
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You know your a drunkard if you...
Think box wine is great; eagerly awaiting box whiskey.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RSF5
Well yeah, the BATFE is like the Anti Hoppy.
Well hey, hey Mr. Policeman
Bet I can drive faster than you can
Come on Hoss, let's have some fun
Go on shoot me with your radar gun
You look bored and I sure am
Catch me if you can.
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Old 11-24-2005, 05:30 PM   #3
dinanM6
 
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Name: dinanM6
Title: Senior Member
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Calgary Alberta
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so true so true
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Old 11-24-2005, 05:58 PM   #4
komodo
 
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Name: komodo
Title: Administrator
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Athens, GA
Rate My Car: 68 / 340
Your Ride: 1995 M3
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Old 11-24-2005, 07:46 PM   #5
xsperf
 
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Name: xsperf
Title: United Baller
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Syracuse, NY
Rate My Car: 185 / 340
Your Ride: 95 325is
damn, see, i replied to that thread, and i cant even remember.. wow komodo you have one hell of a memory!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by c1apton
I keep forgetting that - I have a great memory but it doesn't last long

CRS disease = Can't Remeber Shit
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Old 11-24-2005, 07:46 PM   #6
xsperf
 
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Name: xsperf
Title: United Baller
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Syracuse, NY
Rate My Car: 185 / 340
Your Ride: 95 325is
oh and sorry for the repots, but i guess it never gets old, eh
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Quote:
Originally Posted by c1apton
I keep forgetting that - I have a great memory but it doesn't last long

CRS disease = Can't Remeber Shit
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Old 11-24-2005, 08:12 PM   #7
Rooz

Name: Rooz
Title: Upgraded Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
Rate My Car: 5 / 340
Your Ride: 2003 M5
lol, yeah, was going to say... this looks very familiar
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VIEW MOD LIST & PICS

I am worth $2,010,238 on HumanForSale.com

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregg
Umnitza now provides a mechanic to install all parts ordered right in the box! It's their new "Total customer service program" that will eliminate all the haters and keep incompetents from breaking **** and blaming the vendor! When you are all set simply call INS and they will pick him up free of charge.
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Old 11-25-2005, 12:22 AM   #8
komodo
 
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Name: komodo
Title: Administrator
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Athens, GA
Rate My Car: 68 / 340
Your Ride: 1995 M3
Quote:
Originally Posted by xsperf
damn, see, i replied to that thread, and i cant even remember.. wow komodo you have one hell of a memory!
I know almost every one of the 4,600 threads posted on UB. haha
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Old 11-25-2005, 08:17 PM   #9
TJsBimm

Name: TJsBimm
Title: Senior Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: ON Canada
Rate My Car: 224 / 340
Your Ride: 97 328i
20. Drive forward two metres
21. Reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card

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