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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Old 10-03-2005, 11:19 AM   #1
komodo
 
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Talking The Other Side of the Island - Read! Haha

A man finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise & proceeds to have the time of his life ... until the boat sank He found himself swept up on the shore of an island w/no other people, no supplies ... nothing! Only bananas & coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him.

In disbelief, he asks her "Where did you come from & how did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing, " he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up w/you."

"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches. And the sides & stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, but, that's impossible," stutters the man, "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools & used the tools to make the hardware."

The man is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue & white. While the woman ties up the rowboat w/an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumbstruck.

As they walk into the house, she says casually "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?"

"No, no, thank you." he says, still dazed. "I can't take any more coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "How about a Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, & they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower & shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.

"Wow! This woman is amazing!" he muses, "What next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines strategically positioned & smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "I've been out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now. Something I've been longing for all these months. You know ..." She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing "You mean ...," he swallows excitedly "I can check United Bimmer?!"

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Old 10-03-2005, 11:58 AM   #2
craig
 
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LOL. oh man, thats the best one yet!
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Old 10-03-2005, 12:03 PM   #3
Rooz

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lol, ending owned
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Old 10-03-2005, 01:19 PM   #4
RealBmw 02

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.... the ending was awesome!!!
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Old 10-05-2005, 11:34 AM   #5
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hehehhehehehhheeee. i wouldn't trust a woman in vines..... freaky.
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Old 10-05-2005, 11:40 AM   #6
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i would.
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