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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Old 09-18-2005, 04:26 PM   #1
zeaq328i
 
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Talking Mr Bean jokes

BRAIN TUMOR
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!


MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just
twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!!


WHILE IN A DRUG STORE
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!


MOM'S DEAD
Mr. Bean: (crying) The doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: Condolence, my friend.
2 minutes later
Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: Now what?
Mr. Bean: My sister just called, her mom died too!


QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN number, hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN number if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: Four asterisks! (****)


HOW MANY MAN
Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.


CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it OK?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean OK, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see
any picture.
Friend: What tape did you take anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.


MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of
a power failure.
Mr. Bean: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3hrs.


SPELLING LESSON
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful...is it one C or two C?
Mr. Bean: Make it three C to be sure!
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Old 09-18-2005, 04:37 PM   #2
94bmw325i
 
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I thought you meant Mr. Bean as in Rowan Atkinson....
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Old 09-18-2005, 04:38 PM   #3
komodo
 
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Ha. Moving to comedy.
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Old 09-18-2005, 04:53 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 94bmw325i
I thought you meant Mr. Bean as in Rowan Atkinson....
Wait, that's not what that is?
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Old 09-19-2005, 04:36 PM   #5
528man

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those are so stupid they're kinda funny
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Old 09-20-2005, 02:37 PM   #6
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^^^So is Mr. Bean/Rowan Atkinson so they are probably from him.
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Old 09-20-2005, 02:41 PM   #7
donald1476

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Quick, someone give me a good joke before I vomit.
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Old 09-20-2005, 02:42 PM   #8
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If you vomit....we will laugh


You want a good joke. Go look in the mirror.


Sorry, figured I keep the cheezy theme of this thread going.
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