Go Back   United Bimmer Community - BMW Forum > UnitedBimmer- Off Topic > United Off Topic  **FOR MEMBERS ONLY** > Comedy Collection
FAQ Members List Calendar Advertise With Us Mark Forums Read

Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

Thread Tools
Unread 06-08-2005, 12:03 PM   #1
komodo's Avatar

Name: komodo
Title: Administrator
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Athens, GA
Rate My Car: 68 / 340
Your Ride: 1995 M3
Lessons For the Corporate World

Lesson Number One:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small
rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and
do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the Rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All
of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to
get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't
got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied
the bull.

"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of
dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to
reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched
at the top of the tree. Soon, he was promptly spotted by a
farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullsh*t might get you to the top, but it
won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold,
the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it
was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As
the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to
realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile
of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The morals of this story are:
1) Not everyone who drops sh*t on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep sh*t, keep your mouth shut

  Reply With Quote
Unread 06-08-2005, 05:36 PM   #2
witeshark's Avatar

Name: witeshark
Title: Suspended License
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Miami FL
Rate My Car: 84 / 340
Your Ride: 89 325i 5 speed
Send a message via AIM to witeshark
Those are awesome!
  Reply With Quote
Unread 06-08-2005, 06:43 PM   #3

Name: donald1476
Title: President
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: petaluma, ca.
Rate My Car: 109 / 340
Send a message via AIM to donald1476
hahah nice!

  Reply With Quote
Unread 06-08-2005, 07:12 PM   #4
talin4's Avatar

Name: talin4
Title: Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: May 2005
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
the funny thig is how true they are!

Just smile and wave boys, just smile and wave.
First we feast..... Then we felony!
All behold my magical cheating powers!
Man, when I first joined, all we had was two sticks and a rock... And we had to share the rock!
  Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
BMW Announces 320si komodo BMW General Discussion 6 01-08-2008 08:59 AM
Beer Pong World Series Championship komodo United Off Topic  **FOR MEMBERS ONLY** 4 01-22-2006 12:53 PM
The Fastest BMW 1 Series In The World!!! projal147 BMW General Discussion 22 06-24-2005 11:16 AM

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:20 AM.

A vBSkinworks Design

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright © 2005-2013 UnitedBimmer.com