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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Unread 01-25-2008, 04:27 PM   #1
jcjdavis1's Avatar

Name: jcjdavis1
Title: United Newb
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Paisley Scotland
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Your Ride: 1989 320i tourer
Best Genie Story Ever

A husband took his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the
promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest
adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go
there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is
to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm
said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that
done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was
lying on
its side near the pieces of window glass. A man reclining on the couch
asked, "Are you the people that broke this window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.

You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a
years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes.
give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted
"I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No
said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll
you a long, healthy life!"

"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked. "I'd like
own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the
she said. "Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will
always be
safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?" "Well,
since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in
more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both
have a fortune, and all those houses, what do you think?" She mulled it
for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right.

Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about

You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same for

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of
afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about
hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into
eyes and asked, "How old are you and your

husband?" "Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

"No Kidding," he said." Thirty-five years old.....and both of you still
believe in genies?
The older I get the wrong bits get stiff!!!
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Unread 01-25-2008, 04:48 PM   #2
nick_318is's Avatar

Name: nick_318is
Title: Suspended License
Status: Offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Detroit, MI, I Heart E30s
Rate My Car: 10 / 340
Your Ride: 1991 318is (e30 m42), 2007 Mazdaspeed 3
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Thats great.
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Unread 01-25-2008, 05:29 PM   #3
witeshark's Avatar

Name: witeshark
Title: Suspended License
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Miami FL
Rate My Car: 84 / 340
Your Ride: 89 325i 5 speed
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Unread 01-26-2008, 08:10 AM   #4
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Name: denyo77
Title: Suspended License
Status: Offline
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Germany
Rate My Car: 198 / 340
Your Ride: 1988 325i Touring
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