Go Back   United Bimmer Community - BMW Forum > UnitedBimmer- Off Topic > United Off Topic  **FOR MEMBERS ONLY** > Comedy Collection
FAQ Members List Calendar Advertise With Us Mark Forums Read

Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-09-2008, 05:26 PM   #1
jcjdavis1
 
jcjdavis1's Avatar

Name: jcjdavis1
Title: United Newb
Status: Offline
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Paisley Scotland
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
Your Ride: 1989 320i tourer
An Irish Quickie

AN IRISH QUICKIE


Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'


The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.


'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.


The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.


At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.'


He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.


Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.


Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'


NO, THERE'S MORE…


Moment's later, Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass.


He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.


'Hi, Paddy. Watch dis,' Seamus says.


He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.


He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.


Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.


Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.


Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'


IT IS NOT OVER YET...


Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.


He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.


Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.


Once more Paddy shakes his head. 'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgiejumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... and now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!'
__________________
The older I get the wrong bits get stiff!!!
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2008, 05:59 PM   #2
witeshark
 
witeshark's Avatar

Name: witeshark
Title: Suspended License
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Miami FL
Rate My Car: 84 / 340
Your Ride: 89 325i 5 speed
Hahaha
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2008, 06:31 PM   #3
Exilion
 
Exilion's Avatar

Name: Exilion
Title: Senior Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: World wide
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
Your Ride: 1991 325i
Quote:
Originally Posted by witeshark View Post
Hahaha
+1
__________________


BMW's are made by god... kinda
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2008, 07:30 PM   #4
MTurboPower3
 
MTurboPower3's Avatar

Name: MTurboPower3
Title: Senior Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Philadelphia
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
Your Ride: Dont have a car yet
HAhahahaha
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2008, 04:37 AM   #5
DonB
 
DonB's Avatar

Name: DonB
Title: Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Rate My Car: 40 / 340
Your Ride: 2002 E46 325i Sport Sedan
lol, I imagine I'm the only one who recognised those place names.
__________________
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2008, 10:10 AM   #6
denyo77
 
denyo77's Avatar

Name: denyo77
Title: Suspended License
Status: Offline
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Germany
Rate My Car: 198 / 340
Your Ride: 1988 325i Touring

that was a good one!
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Gotta love the Irish komodo Comedy Collection
6 03-16-2006 11:56 PM
Irish Humor komodo Comedy Collection
7 08-17-2005 08:04 PM
Quickie Duck/Pig komodo Comedy Collection
4 07-02-2005 11:55 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:18 AM.

A vBSkinworks Design

 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright © 2005-2013 UnitedBimmer.com