Go Back   United Bimmer Community - BMW Forum > UnitedBimmer- Off Topic > United Off Topic  **FOR MEMBERS ONLY** > Comedy Collection
FAQ Members List Calendar Advertise With Us Mark Forums Read

Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 05-25-2005, 03:11 PM   #1
komodo
 
komodo's Avatar

Name: komodo
Title: Administrator
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Athens, GA
Rate My Car: 68 / 340
Your Ride: 1995 M3
Letter To A RedNeck Son

Dearest Redneck Son,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

Your Favorite Aunt,

Mom
__________________

  Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2005, 03:17 PM   #2
jrhaile

Name: jrhaile
Title: Upgraded Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Rate My Car: 114 / 340
Your Ride: 1991 Dinan Turbo, 95 M52 Turbo
haha I laughed snot out of my nose... hilarious...
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2005, 03:18 PM   #3
craig
 
craig's Avatar

Name: craig
Title: Sitting in Time out
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: tribune kansas
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2005, 10:56 PM   #4
Rooz

Name: Rooz
Title: Upgraded Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
Rate My Car: 5 / 340
Your Ride: 2003 M5
pretty good one
__________________



VIEW MOD LIST & PICS

I am worth $2,010,238 on HumanForSale.com

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregg
Umnitza now provides a mechanic to install all parts ordered right in the box! It's their new "Total customer service program" that will eliminate all the haters and keep incompetents from breaking **** and blaming the vendor! When you are all set simply call INS and they will pick him up free of charge.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2005, 10:58 PM   #5
Addicted?

Name: Addicted?
Title: 350z
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Bellingham, WA
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
Your Ride: 2003 350z Track Edition
hahahahahah your favorite aunt

mom that is great!

David
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2005, 11:33 PM   #6
Torque
 
Torque's Avatar

Name: Torque
Title: Lawl.
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Louisville, KY
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
Your Ride: '00 Impreza
fun shit
__________________

  Reply With Quote
Old 05-25-2005, 11:54 PM   #7
Addicted?

Name: Addicted?
Title: 350z
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Bellingham, WA
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
Your Ride: 2003 350z Track Edition
dude i get so confused when i see torque and beems sig haha

David
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2005, 12:17 AM   #8
Cellardoor

Name: Cellardoor
Title: Senior Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: RI
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
Your Ride: 95 M3
Quote:
Originally Posted by 95bmwpwer
dude i get so confused when i see torque and beems sig haha

David

haha me too!

-Hutch-
__________________
///M Accelerate till you see GOD....then Brake

If life passes you by...............Downshift
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-26-2005, 03:25 PM   #9
EnvyM3
 
EnvyM3's Avatar

Name: EnvyM3
Title: DSC OFF!
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Manchester, NH
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
Your Ride: 2005 545i SMG
HAha that is great.

Signed, your favorite Aunt......Mom
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2005, 12:15 PM   #10
528man

Name: 528man
Title: Senior Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Greensboro, NC 27407-5254
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
aunt mom, thats classic west virgina
__________________
1997 528i
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2005, 12:17 PM   #11
craig
 
craig's Avatar

Name: craig
Title: Sitting in Time out
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: tribune kansas
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 95bmwpwer
dude i get so confused when i see torque and beems sig haha

David
atleast im not the only one....lol
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-28-2005, 01:28 AM   #12
komodo
 
komodo's Avatar

Name: komodo
Title: Administrator
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Athens, GA
Rate My Car: 68 / 340
Your Ride: 1995 M3
Quote:
Originally Posted by 95bmwpwer
dude i get so confused when i see torque and beems sig haha

David
They did it on purpose to confuse us. Bastards. haha
__________________

  Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2005, 05:27 PM   #13
witeshark
 
witeshark's Avatar

Name: witeshark
Title: Suspended License
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Miami FL
Rate My Car: 84 / 340
Your Ride: 89 325i 5 speed
That has got to be the funniest letter I have ever seen
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
You know your a redneck when... DEATH2000 Comedy Collection
20 07-21-2006 10:42 PM
Letter from BMW Rooz BMW General Discussion 8 02-23-2006 11:26 PM
Is Your Son a Hacker? komodo United Off Topic  **FOR MEMBERS ONLY** 20 11-30-2005 09:11 PM
Jeb Bush's Son Gets Arrested komodo United Off Topic  **FOR MEMBERS ONLY** 5 09-17-2005 07:55 PM
A Letter to Dad komodo Comedy Collection
16 06-22-2005 02:09 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:37 AM.

A vBSkinworks Design

 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright © 2005-2013 UnitedBimmer.com