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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Old 08-27-2007, 11:07 AM   #1
Cartony
 
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Name: Cartony
Title: Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Stoney Creek, Ontario
Rate My Car: 85 / 340
Your Ride: 1994 318iC
Quantas,Had to share, just cleaning my comp

Airplane Deficiencies
After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a
"gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the
aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form & then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots & the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)
************************************************** **********************
P: Left inside main tire almost needs
replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, & be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
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Old 08-27-2007, 01:55 PM   #2
celsdogg
 
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Name: celsdogg
Title: never gonna happen
Status: Offline
Join Date: May 2005
Location: MD
Rate My Car: 131 / 340
Your Ride: BMW E30, Subaru BE, Cannondale M400
haha, i have seen this before, but its always funny!
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Old 08-27-2007, 06:34 PM   #3
dinan540
 
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Name: dinan540
Title: Upgraded Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Seattle
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That is funny, great sense of humor from the mechanics.
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Old 08-27-2007, 06:43 PM   #4
Numark318i
 
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Name: Numark318i
Title: has an empty wallet
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: The Only place in the world where people say "Hella"
Rate My Car: 125 / 340
Your Ride: ^^
heh i think its arepsot..but still funny.
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The aural sensations of 1st gear WOT
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Old 08-27-2007, 06:44 PM   #5
witeshark
 
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Name: witeshark
Title: Suspended License
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Miami FL
Rate My Car: 84 / 340
Your Ride: 89 325i 5 speed
I like the radar joke
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Old 08-27-2007, 08:34 PM   #6
Kasei
 
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Name: Kasei
Title: Senior Member
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Location: North Wilkesboro, NC
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Your Ride: 1991 525i
Thats great!
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