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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Old 02-23-2006, 11:09 PM   #1
komodo
 
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Name: komodo
Title: Administrator
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Athens, GA
Rate My Car: 68 / 340
Your Ride: 1995 M3
Are you DA MAN?

Are you an unreconstructed, right-on, rogue male? Or a delivery boy
of the new male order? Are you a man or a louse? Find out below.

1) In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as...
a. lovemaking,
b. screwing,
c. the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town.

2) You should make love to a woman for the first time only after
you've both shared...
a. your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship,
b. your blood-test results,
c. five tequila slammers.

3) You time your orgasm so that...
a. your partner climaxes first,
b. you both climax simultaneously,
c. you don't miss SportsCenter.

4) Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is...
a. healthy, creative love-play,
b. not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to,
c. not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about.

5) Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just nailed is...
a. the best part of the experience,
b. the second best part of the experience,
c. $100 extra.

6) Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month.
You tell her that it is...
a. no concern of yours,
b. not a problem, she can join your gym,
c. a conservative estimate.

7) You think today's sensitive, caring man is...
a. a myth,
b. an oxymoron,
c. a moron.

8) Foreplay is to sex as...
a. appetizer is to entree,
b. primer is to paint,
c. a line is to an amusement park ride.

9) Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself
saying at the end of a relationship?
a. "I hope we can still be friends."
b. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."

10) A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate...
a. probably needs a little more time before she can cope with
that sort of intimacy,
b. is uptight and a waste of time,
c. shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Evaluating the results:

If you answered "a" more than 7 times, check in your pants to see if
you really are a man.

If you answered "b" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're more
than a little confused.

If you answered "c" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"
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Old 02-25-2006, 10:07 AM   #2
///MDreain

Name: ///MDreain
Title: Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: N. VA
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
Your Ride: 97 328i
hahaha thats awsome
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*Image hosting service banned this link*
Montreal 328i
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Old 02-25-2006, 01:24 PM   #3
nick_318is
 
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Name: nick_318is
Title: Suspended License
Status: Offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Detroit, MI, I Heart E30s
Rate My Car: 10 / 340
Your Ride: 1991 318is (e30 m42), 2007 Mazdaspeed 3
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Old 02-25-2006, 09:23 PM   #4
DEATH2000
 
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Name: DEATH2000
Title: Moderator
Status: Offline
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Rate My Car: 111 / 340
Your Ride: 1998 E36 328i sedan
HAHAHHAHAHA well i got owned
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New to United Bimmer? Check out our Introductions and Greetings Section and introduce yourself today!

E36 Bentley Manual PDF download avilable HERE
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