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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Old 09-19-2005, 03:28 AM   #1
donald1476

Name: donald1476
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British security alerts

New Security Alerts

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the

level has just been raised from 'miffed' to "peeved'! Soon though, the

levels may be raised yet again to "irritated' or even "a bit cross".

Londoners have not been a "bit cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea

supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from

"tiresome" to "a bloody nuisance", The last time a "bloody nuisance"

warning level was issued was during the great fire in 1666.

Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has

raised its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE. The only two higher

levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was

precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag

factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert, the

Italians have increased their alert level from ! "shout loudly and

excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain,

"ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance"

to "dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher

levels, "invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from

"isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe

for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "attack the

world" and "beg the British for help".

Finally over there in Britain they've gone from "pretend nothing's

happening", to "make another cup of tea". Their higher levels are

"remain resolutely cheerful" and "win".
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Old 09-19-2005, 11:53 AM   #2
Cellardoor

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ahahaa that is freakin great!

-Hutch-
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Old 09-19-2005, 11:57 AM   #3
komodo
 
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Hahaha! Nice! I'm guessing a British person wrote it.
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