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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Old 10-28-2007, 12:19 AM   #1
Skyy

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FOUR Reasons not to mess with children

4 reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "W hen I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
__________________________________________________ ______

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
"They will in a minute."
__________________________________________________ _______

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and

say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,
she's dead."
__________________________________________________ __________

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school

for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples

EDIT: yeah, it was originally seven but i disagreed with the other three on moral grounds and chose not to post them.

Last edited by Skyy; 10-28-2007 at 05:48 AM..
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Old 10-28-2007, 03:26 AM   #2
denyo77
 
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seven reasons?
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Old 10-28-2007, 10:57 AM   #3
celsdogg
 
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funny. i liked the first one best.
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