Go Back   United Bimmer Community - BMW Forum > UnitedBimmer- Off Topic > United Off Topic  **FOR MEMBERS ONLY** > Comedy Collection
FAQ Members List Calendar Advertise With Us Mark Forums Read

Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

Thread Tools
Unread 08-27-2007, 08:28 AM   #1
Cartony's Avatar

Name: Cartony
Title: Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Stoney Creek, Ontario
Rate My Car: 85 / 340
Your Ride: 1994 318iC
Send a message via MSN to Cartony
Little JOhnny Joke

Kid's will say anything.

Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby.

Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When the Mother and new baby came home from the hospital,
Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and
explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears
or even said the word "ears" he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes.

Can he see?"

"Yes", the Mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great," said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be shit-outta-luck if he needed glasses."
  Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2007, 08:47 AM   #2
witeshark's Avatar

Name: witeshark
Title: Suspended License
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Miami FL
Rate My Car: 84 / 340
Your Ride: 89 325i 5 speed
Send a message via AIM to witeshark
Good one
  Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2007, 12:36 PM   #3
RSF5's Avatar

Name: RSF5
Title: Leave that out of this.
Status: Offline
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Alpharetta, GA
Rate My Car: 278 / 340
  Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2007, 01:47 PM   #4
MTurboPower3's Avatar

Name: MTurboPower3
Title: Senior Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Philadelphia
User not setup in Rate My Car.
Click here to set it up.
Your Ride: Dont have a car yet
Send a message via AIM to MTurboPower3
  Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2007, 09:58 PM   #5
xsperf's Avatar

Name: xsperf
Title: United Baller
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Syracuse, NY
Rate My Car: 185 / 340
Your Ride: 95 325is

Originally Posted by c1apton
I keep forgetting that - I have a great memory but it doesn't last long

CRS disease = Can't Remeber Shit
  Reply With Quote
Unread 08-28-2007, 09:30 PM   #6

Name: Rooz
Title: Upgraded Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
Rate My Car: 5 / 340
Your Ride: 2003 M5
nice one


I am worth $2,010,238 on HumanForSale.com

Originally Posted by Gregg
Umnitza now provides a mechanic to install all parts ordered right in the box! It's their new "Total customer service program" that will eliminate all the haters and keep incompetents from breaking **** and blaming the vendor! When you are all set simply call INS and they will pick him up free of charge.
  Reply With Quote

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
quick one liners stevo Comedy Collection
41 06-07-2007 07:26 PM
little johnny craig Comedy Collection
3 03-01-2006 08:23 PM
Joke of the day!! xsperf Comedy Collection
12 09-21-2005 02:30 PM
Clean Joke komodo Comedy Collection
4 09-11-2005 09:57 PM
Funny joke EnvyM3 Comedy Collection
3 05-11-2005 12:17 PM

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:39 PM.

A vBSkinworks Design

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright © 2005-2013 UnitedBimmer.com