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Old 09-22-2005, 12:45 PM   #1
komodo
 
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Name: komodo
Title: Administrator
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Athens, GA
Rate My Car: 68 / 340
Your Ride: 1995 M3
The Laws of a Ricer

THE LAWS OF THE RICER

Law#1-Pronounce N.O.S. as one word (NAWS).
Law#2-When you are outpowered, call people out with your friends car.
Law#3-Have an aftermarket body kit installed (Lips not included).
Law#4-Use of neons or L.E.D.'s to light up your car.
Law#5-Use an aftermarket tachometer...when your car already has a working stock tachometer in it.
Law#6-You must install a non-functional wing/spoiler on the back of your car.
Law#7-Names of performance parts on your car that you dont have.
Law#8-Claim to beat cars that your car is totally uncapable of beating.
Law#9-Magazine race.
Law#10-Install racing seats on a car that runs a 14 second or slower quarter mile.
Law#11-Listing stereo equiptment or any visual mod when listing all your performance mods.
Law#12-Believe that Honda invented VTEC.
Law#13-Putting sub-brand labels on your car...example:Honda emblems on an Acura, Audi on a VW..ect.
Law#14-Install an aftermarket duel-exhaust on a 4-cylinder.
Law#15-Make your exhaust sound like a lawn-mower.
Law#16-Buy a nitrous system just to purge.
Law#17-Using car donughts and calling them "skinnies".
Law#18-Mounting smaller tires to decrease gear ratio.
Law#19-Multi collored body panels.
Law#20-Claiming horse power and quarter mile times with out testing or proof.
Law#21-Talk about how fast your car will be once you buy and install all the parts.
Law#22-performing the ricer flyby
Law#23-fliping your hazard lights,during/after a loss or during a flyby
Law#24-subscribing to super street/sportcompact car
Law#25-boasting about your interior/power windows/sporty looks
Law#26-Say you lost because your car is running on a ****ty tune and needs to be tuned.......... when you're on the stock computer...
Law#27-rev @ every car on the road that will eat you(no matter what direction they are going)
Law#28-if some challenges you 2 a race you have 2 options
a.race and when you lose go to ws and lie your butt off
b.tell em they are a waste of time
Law#29-my clutch is slipping,
Law#30-If lose i missed a gear,
Law#31-or my vtec was set to low,
Law#32-when the vinyl work is worth more than the car,
Law#33-also calling the skinnies here is known as dookies,
Law#34-when someone does a neutral drop in an automatic,
Law#35-bouncing off the revlimiter more than once
Law#36-I started in 2nd intstead of 1st
Law#37-My shift light went off late
Law#38-I didnt catch posi trac on that one
Law#39-My shift nob came off (srt humor)
Law#40-Did you know green meant GO!
Law#41-My vtec juice light was flashing
Law#42-my trunk was weighed down from my 12s
Law#43-my strut bar snapped
Law#44-my neonlight valve stem covers are robbing hp
Law#45-I didnt double clutch like i should have
Law#46-If I didnt blow the welds on the intake i sure poop my pants on that one
Law#47-If the wing is bigger than the blechers at your local high school
Law#48-When the exhaust consist of coat hangers and jb weld
Law#49-Yeah its got about 5000 dollars invested in it ( and it looks like poop)
Law#50-Its a prototype that no one has (built from duct tape and blue glue and pvc piping)
Law#51-driving in and out of traffic with your vtak thinking you have a fast car
Law#52-Getting your #s from a g-tech or some other similar meter.
Law#53-using chicken wire as a mesh grill
Law#54-Remove your hubcaps and paint yer steelies to match the car
Law#55-Account at pepboys
Law#56-own both F+F and have ticket reserved for the third
Law#57-Cutting your factory springs to lower your car
Law#58-Having gauges that do not work
Law#59-When one car in the whole world runs 10s and you think your car is fast.
Law#60-Having a body kit and no plans on painting it
Law#61-When you double side tape parts to the car and expect them to hold up at 100 mph
Law#62-"Yeah its VTEC, but its not hooked up yet"
Law#63-When you consider primer as a color choice
Law#64-When you tell people it has a 9000 rpm redline and can only turn 6700
Law#65-58 if your name is Goki
Law#66-z3 fender flares on an import
Law#67-if you talk about owning a skyline someday and you drive a civic
Law#68-having windshield washer squirters with lights in them
Law#69-Cutting your factory springs to lower your car
Law#70-You refer as everything being JDM
Law#71-someone asks you if you have a turbo and you reply "not YET!"
Law#72-Tell people you are running nitrous,when its really N.O.S. octane booster.
Law#73-who the flip knows....driving around some highschool parking lot 3 hours after schools out trying to pick up chicks
Law#74-taking your 50whp civic to a dyno when it's stock
Law#75-When you manually shift an automatic
Law#76-Going to the dragstrip with slicks and running a 16.05 in the 1/8
Law#77-When you drive around months at a time with spare tires on the front and custom rims in the back.
Law#78-All you do is brag about how much of a street racer you are
Law#79-Asking about staggared fitment rims on a FWD car.
Law#80-When your car consist of a GTR badge on the car and is not a skyline
Law#81-Its got a rotary motor in it and you drive a mustang
Law#82-you claim your car is fast then get butthurt so you claim your car is an autoX car.
Law#83-you post pics of your parents car and claim it for you own
Law#84-when you compare your $35k car to a $20k car
Law#85-List motor oil as a mod
Law#86-When your car has more torque in the lug nuts than in the motor
Law#87-list winshield wipers as a mod and carbon fiber pedals
Law#88-When your car has more than one squash air freshner in it
Law#89-When you transform your car into something else with a headlight swap and taillight swap
Law#90-When someone ask you if its mandrel bent or crush piping and you have no answer
Law#91-When you stick the rim and tire out further than the fenders and you use curb feelers to keep from messing them up.
Law#92-when your body kit is held on by sheet rock screws and thumb tacks
Law#93-If you "fat arm" out the window with a sideways cap.
Law#94-If you are 5'2 and you drive in the back seat
Law#95-when you have more switches than a hydralic car and have no hydralics
Law#96-If you have to beg your parents to drive the civic
Law#97-when you de-badge your GST ecplise of LX civic because its the suck model
Law#98-windshield sticker saying powered by....(127 @the crank yeah thats power)
Law#99-When one car in the whole world runs 10s and you think your car is fast.
Law#100-when your sn is qwerty
Law#101-You remove every piece of your interior and you still run 15's
Law#102-you have diamond plate floormats
Law#103-you have a racing harness on your stock civic lx seat
Law#104-you make your own intake out of pvc pipe
Law#105-you know what jdm means
Law#106-you have hubcaps that resemble rims
Law#107-you drive any korean car and "mod" it
Law#108-if you have an AEM license plate frame
Law#109-if you put 18, 19, or 20" rims on a sport compact.
Law#110-Japanese writing on a domestic car
Law#111-Put racing gas in ur stock civic lx
Law#112-If you spraypaint your interior
Law#113-if you don't make fun of ricers
Law#114-If you are getting angry while reading this list
Law#115-the local tow truck service is on speed dial
Law#116-the local performance shop is on speed dial
Law#117-someone yells got rice and your mom pulls up in the catering truck
Law#118-your in the performance shop to look @ poop you cant buy untill payday..and it never comes
Law#119-put lambo doors on
Law#120-You join CLUBRSX , not to goof on them, but because you actually think they are fast
Law#121-Calling your flat, bald street tires "Slicks"
Law#123-you drive in 1st gear 90% of the time so you can hear the vtec whine
Law#124-If you buy an srt design
Law#125-you have a bumper sticker that says drive it like you stole it
Law#126-your keychain says aem/tanabe/greddy/typeR/si/mugen/....
Law#127-you play nfsu2 everyday
Law#128-you try to spell as many words linked to honda with your alphabets cereal
Law#129-You treat your nfsu2 car like its a real car
Law#130-Type-R
Law#131-I will own you in the twisties
Law#132-You have a V6 camaro/mustang and spend enough money to buy a V8 just to make people think it's a V8.
Law#133-You've ever swung in behind a car (at 50 mph) in an attempt to draft.
Law#134-When you lose you say "But your car has 4 more cylinders"
Law#135-when you lose you say "Imagine if Honda made an engine as big as yours, because my 4 cylindler has 100 HP/Liter!"
Law#136-You think you stand a chance against all Mustangs and Camaro's because they are heavy
Law#137-You have a Vin Diesel poster
Law#138-You buy a civic, add a cold air intake and cat back exhaust, add 200 lbs of stereo equipment and brag about how much faster it is than when it was stock.
Law#139-You try explaining why vtec is better than a turbo charger
Law#140-You have to let the passengers know when you're flooring it (Thanks, Broken )
Law#141-If you know you can't win, you dump the clutch at 8,000 RPM's and say you couldn't hook up, but at least you looked cool
Law#142-The only 2 exotic cars you can name are Supra and Skyline.
Law#143-You think taking 200 lbs off your car will make up for being 200 HP underpowered in comparison to your opponent.
Law#144-You put slicks on your car and only agree to race in the rain, just so you have an excuse.
Law#145-If you tell the story of how your friend has such a fast car, he put a $10 bill on the dash, floored it, and you couldn't reach it on the dash because you were too pinned in your seat.
Law#146-When you claim to race a stock automatic cobra.
Law#147-When your cardomain site has a 'future mods' list.
Law#148-When you have 12 inch deep dish rims.
Law#149-When you can shoot a grapefruit from your exhaust tip
Law#150-LED exhaust tips.
Law#151-When you have NOS seat covers.
Law#152-TRIPLE LIMO TINTED WINDOWS!
Law#153-When you have competitve races with cars- that dont know they are racing.
Law#154-Put the car (automatic) in neutral on hills so that it rolls back like a manual and then go into drive when the light turns green.
Law#155-Form opinions on cars you know nothing about.
Law#156-Walmart is your #1 Auto Parts Supplier.
Law#157-when you scream VTAK out the window cause you think it makes the car faster.
Law#158-starting a poll about who would win in a race before you race.
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