Well, it looks like my paranoia has gotten the best of me, and I've gotten tunnel vision. Seems the longer a problem goes on, the more I start thinking the worst. Even started another thread about pulling the head and changing the gasket because of all this water and smoke coming out of my exhaust.
I never gave the car time to spit out all that fuel residue in the cylinders. And it dawned on me that I heard you, c1apton, but I didn't LISTEN. Turns out all she needed was a good highway run, so I put her through her paces yesterday for about 110mi. No more smoke, no more water
In the end, the new fuel pressure regulator fixed the problem. All I have left is the fault code 1264: O2 sensor heater, but I'll figure that out. I mean, how hard can that be after everything else I've been through?
Anyway, all's well that ends well