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| Comedy Collection Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything. |
05-12-2005, 07:05 PM
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#1
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Name: Rooz
Title: Moderator
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
Your Ride: 2004 ZHP & 2002 330i
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Blondes...
What do you call an eternity?
Four Blondes at a four way stop.
Why do Blondes have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for 4 hours they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" so they turned around and went home.
What do smart Blondes and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, daddy ... doughnut seeds.
Why did the Blonde stare at a can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't Blondes dial 911?
They can't find the eleven on the phone!
What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!
How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?
There is whiteout all over the monitor.
Why shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!"
The doctor asks, "Were you ever a Blonde?"
"Yes, I was." she replies. "Why do you ask?"
The doctor answers, "because your finger is broken!"
A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said, "Oh, look at the dead bird."
The Blonde looked skyward and said "Where, where?"
A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21".
A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her. She also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21". Suddenly, the brunette hears a train whistle, and she jumps off the tracks just as the Blonde is splattered all over the place.The brunette goes back to jumping from rail to rail, counting, "22" "22" "22".
How do you drown a Blonde?
Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool
Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Why don't Blondes like making KOOL-AID?
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?
They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
__________________
VIEW MOD LIST & PICS
I am worth $2,010,238 on HumanForSale.com
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gregg
Umnitza now provides a mechanic to install all parts ordered right in the box! It's their new "Total customer service program" that will eliminate all the haters and keep incompetents from breaking shit and blaming the vendor! When you are all set simply call INS and they will pick him up free of charge.
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05-12-2005, 09:35 PM
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#2
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Name: komodo
Title: Administrator
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Athens, GA
Your Ride: 1995 M3
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Haha, those are pretty good. I'm gonna show them to Laura tomorrow (blonde girlfriend, hehe).
Another one from somewhere else:
Q. What is the only smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever
Ba-da-boom.
__________________
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05-14-2005, 12:11 AM
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#3
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Name: witeshark
Title: Road Kill
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Miami FL
Your Ride: 89 325i 5 speed
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Wow! hahahaha! Oh no!! I have blond hair! hahahaha!!  |
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05-16-2005, 04:00 PM
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#4
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Name: EnvyM3
Title: DSC OFF!
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Manchester, NH
User not setup in Rate My Car. Click here to set it up. Your Ride: 2001 330ci
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Haha, damn those are good  |
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05-16-2005, 06:13 PM
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#5
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Name: 528man
Title: Senior Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
User not setup in Rate My Car. Click here to set it up.
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funny lol, might have to use some of them
__________________
1997 528i
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06-07-2005, 02:52 AM
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#6
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Name: Chris
Title: Visiting Mod
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
User not setup in Rate My Car. Click here to set it up. Your Ride: Whatever I can get my hands on
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__________________
Nuke (n): a large firework that makes pretty lights and large lakes out of annoying countries.
You have three choices, stand behind our troops, grab a gun and toe the line with our troops, or stand in front of them, they can use the extra armor.
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06-07-2005, 09:42 AM
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#7
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Name: Rooz
Title: Moderator
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
Your Ride: 2004 ZHP & 2002 330i
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__________________
VIEW MOD LIST & PICS
I am worth $2,010,238 on HumanForSale.com
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Gregg
Umnitza now provides a mechanic to install all parts ordered right in the box! It's their new "Total customer service program" that will eliminate all the haters and keep incompetents from breaking shit and blaming the vendor! When you are all set simply call INS and they will pick him up free of charge.
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07-06-2005, 10:20 PM
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#8
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Name: witeshark
Title: Road Kill
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Miami FL
Your Ride: 89 325i 5 speed
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OMG that is hysterical!   |
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07-08-2005, 08:53 AM
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#9
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Name: gotKRAUT
Title: Senior Member
Status: Offline
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Elk Grove, CA
User not setup in Rate My Car. Click here to set it up. Your Ride: 87 325es, 67 beetle, 85 scirocco, 03 malibu, 99 ram 2500 turbo diesel
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I dont get it?... |
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