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Comedy Collection Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.
A guy walks in to a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the billiard
balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey did?"
The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He eats
everything in sight, the little idiot. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. The bartender
is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. He still eats
everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."
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Your Ride: Whatever I can get my hands on
:LOL thats ....... wrong. but insanely funny.
Nuke (n): a large firework that makes pretty lights and large lakes out of annoying countries.
You have three choices, stand behind our troops, grab a gun and toe the line with our troops, or stand in front of them, they can use the extra armor.