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Comedy Collection
Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything.

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Old 10-03-2005, 10:15 AM   #1
komodo
 
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Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's
personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they
concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste;
knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested,
she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but
wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He's gay!

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Old 10-05-2005, 12:07 PM   #2
Chris
 
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Your Ride: Whatever I can get my hands on
those are alllllllll so true. but the fact that harry can read guys scares me

i kid i kid.
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Old 10-05-2005, 12:59 PM   #3
komodo
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisdoesntknow
those are alllllllll so true. but the fact that harry can read guys scares me

i kid i kid.
Keep you and your White Zinfandel away from me.
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Old 10-05-2005, 03:07 PM   #4
Linds
 
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Holy crap Harry, save some jokes for later!
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Old 10-05-2005, 06:28 PM   #5
defkon99
 
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Your Ride: 1993 E36
Talking

hehe lmao damn any female shot drinkers on UB id like to know.. heheh
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Old 10-05-2005, 07:06 PM   #6
TJsBimm

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Haha, she can have the shots..I'll have the whisk..hehe
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Old 10-05-2005, 08:44 PM   #7
DEATH2000
 
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^^^ no, ull have the beer. whiskey is out of ur price range
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Old 10-11-2005, 08:21 AM   #8
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OK, so he had a couple

That's going to leave a mark
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Old 10-11-2005, 02:57 PM   #9
528man

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hahaha
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