Smart Ass Answers of 2005 - United Bimmer Community

**komodo** · 10-03-2005, 09:25 AM

Some are repeats, but funny none-the-less.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, instead he
opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she
said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

SMART ASS ANSWER #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
they're dead."

SMART ASS ANSWER #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When
the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on is way without a
ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right
ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and
walks up to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge
and ran out of gas."

SMART ASS ANSWER #1:

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow . I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to
laughter and snickering. When silence is finally restored, the teacher
smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.