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| Comedy Collection Post up anything funny you find online here. Could be flash videos, amusing websites, text jokes, anything. |
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06-21-2005, 01:02 AM
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#1 |
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When A Fly Goes Down 3 Inches
In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. The hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh ... if I go down three inches. I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed." There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him." There was a bear on the shore thinking, "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches that fish will jump for the fly...and I will grab him." It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich.... "Gosh," he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish leaps for it...that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch." You probably think this is enough activity on one bank of a lake, but I can tell you there's more.... A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh . if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish jumps for that fly ... and that bear grabs for that fish...the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich." A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular lake around lunch time "Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish jumps for that fly... and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter shoots that bear...and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich .. then I can have mouse for lunch. The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water. The fish swallows the fly... The bear grabs the fish... The hunter shoots the bear... The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich... The cat jumps for the mouse... The mouse ducks... The cat falls into the water and drowns. The moral of the story is: Whenever a fly goes down three inches, some pussy is in serious trouble!
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06-21-2005, 01:06 AM
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#2 |
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 Nuke (n): a large firework that makes pretty lights and large lakes out of annoying countries. You have three choices, stand behind our troops, grab a gun and toe the line with our troops, or stand in front of them, they can use the extra armor. |
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06-21-2005, 06:35 AM
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haha
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1997 528i |
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06-21-2005, 09:31 PM
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OMFG, that is the best joke EVER
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 1970 BMW 2002 Driven by skill, not money "Real BMW's have round tail lights" |
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06-22-2005, 01:17 AM
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#5 |
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aaahahahaha could that be any more circuitous though? lol thats an impressive thought process, and a mean hunter for not helping the cat lol  !-Hutch-
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///M Accelerate till you see GOD....then Brake If life passes you by...............Downshift |
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06-22-2005, 01:57 AM
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old, but still funny.
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 BMW, The Ultimate Driving Machine |
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06-22-2005, 11:40 AM
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#7 |
   
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06-22-2005, 12:33 PM
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i did not see that one coming! lmao!
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Changing Blower Resistor, Removing Headliner and Back Dash, Replacing Instrument Cluster Lights, Rear Bilstein Sport Shock Install, Front Bilstein Sport Strut Install, E30 Front Wheel Bearing Replacement, E39/E36 Brake Pad (Rotor) Replacement, E36 Fuel Filter Replacement, Bleeding BMW Brakes |
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(She's "schoolin'" the boyZ)|
06-22-2005, 12:59 PM
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#9 |
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Hahaha  |
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