After 10 Years on the Job...these are the ones from the list I actually used:
#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In
case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm
bullet fired from my gun." (I carried a .40 S&W, so the FPM was faster...but close enough to what I said).
#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the
#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"
#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend
of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ......
You're right, we don't. ... Sign here."