10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
6 - Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.
3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration...