With the issue of the spark plugs the ones that come out black are being fouled. If its not oil them it's gas that's fouling them. Odds are the car is running lean.
If their is white smoke and it smells like coolant odds are pretty good that you have a blown headgasket. Do you notice a loss of coolant with no visible leaks? What color is your oil?
The Idle control valve regulates how the car idles. When it doesn't work the car won't idle and dies right away. They need to be cleaned or they fail over time.
Theirs a blue flame? Coming into the intake manifold? That's not a good thing. Their shouldn't be any flames coming into te intake. Can you take a picture?