From a strictly economic basis, it's not worth spending more on this car, but "economics" can be rather broadly defined. The fact that you are attached to this car somewhat says that you're willing to put conventional economics aside, as it's worth it to you to make the repairs and keep this car a long time. That can be done. Of course, much depends upon your financial resources, and abilities to do a lot of the work.
Basically, it seems to me you don't have a lemon, but you do have a car that suffered some abuse and lack of regular service and maintenance, which you've detailed. Some of these items are premature for a car with that amount of mileage on it, others are in the ball park for normal wear and replacement. What I've experienced with these cars is that the engines (both 4- and 6-cylinder) and the manual transmission (I don't think you mentioned which type you have) are quite reliable and durable. It's the suspension (control arms, ball joints, trailing arm bushings, plus other stuff you've mentioned) and the cooling system (radiator, water pump) that are the main weak spots. Overall though, from what you've listed, things don't seem that bad, except for that front strut work.
The other big thing you should assess is the amount of corrosion, both to body panels and the underside, where rusted in bolts and the like can make a fairly straightforward job of replacing some component just the start of a fall down a very deep hole. I gather that corrosion isn't that much of a problem, given that you've had the car looked at and the tech didn't outright shake his head. Also, although it's not mentioned, I gather the car has not been in a severe crash, to the point of causing damage to the frame and such, that can be a big problem.
If you like the car, can do much of the work yourself, and can afford to have the rest done, I don't think spending the money (and the time) is outlandish, in the end you'll have a reinvigorated car, capable of doing well more than another 100,000 miles, and one that you enjoy driving as well. And an added point, I think the E36 body style is still terrific, with nicely flowing and sculpted lines that the more recent angular styles just can't quite match. Good luck!