I figured it out. I finally figured out you CAN use a THIN box-wrench down below, especially if you drop the sway bar (which I didn't need to do). I still couldn't use the open-end wrench part because it didn't angle right. But the spindle started turning so that was no good. No hex slot in the top, so I can't keep it from turning. So took out 2 13mm bolts in oil resevoir and literally pushed on the metal power steering line above the ball joint nut until it would slightly move out of the way and I could drop 2 foot extention + 21mm rachet socket down from above, and have friend crank on it while I squeezed the **** out of the spindle with some needle-nosed vice-grips. Finally the nut spun off, thank god. The inner ball joint dropped out like it was greased but I had to really REALLY pound the outer ball joint with a pickle-fork (got a Sears) and finally when I thought it couldn't take a larger beating, it popped off. I have no idea how people do this normally but that spinning spindle was a real beast.