Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns
to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do.
Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the
headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine
and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into
the house, sneak up the stairs and get undressed in the bathroom.
I ease into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for
staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking
the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door,
storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into
bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?'...
and she always acts like she's sound asleep!"