[Hoppy]

night time has always been my favorite time. it has the best moments. from being 5 chasing fire flys to 16, and that first big date, to being 20 sitting in a dennys parking lot at 3 am with some of the best fucking people you will ever know.
the best feelings, quiet. calm, selective, EXCLUSIVE.

with my redicuouls work/school schedual over the past few weeks, iv had little time for sleep ( 4 hours last night) forget going out with out having to actualy GO some where (work/class/fix the damn car). iv just been stressed. not really sure what i want to do about anything. been this way for a few weeks. but not today, not now.

despite the 4 hours of sleep,waking up late for my class, 4 classes for a grand total of aproximatly 7 hours, 3 of those classes in the same room. 5 hours of work. today is the golden linning of the lump of shit that has been my last week or two. i got a lunch date for thursday, with a girl whos WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE, that put my in a good mood for work, wich went by quick and smooth becuase i had a competent coworker for the first time in over a week. that left me with energy to be up now, and since i dont have class tommorow, or work till 3, and i was up so late last night. so im up now, i had come Cig's left in the pack i bought when i was stressing out last week, (32 hrs of work, 15 credits of class, an 8 page paper due) so i decided its warm out. il go get Pat and go outside and have a smoke.

Pat was supposed to be studying but he disapeared, so i went out by myself. and im glad i did. gave me time to let everything about the night smooth over all the trivial problems iv been stressing

The girl is far too good for me, so even if i do blow it or get rejected. no big deal. i reach for the stars and stumbled on a pebble.

I dont need the income from work to make ends meet. so if it gets too stressfull i can just take less hours or quit.

i have spent some 15 years in various Education settings. i didnt give a rats shit then, now is no differant. its all just paper and a subjective opinion of you as a student, based on standards that dont work. Plus im going home for the weekend, and then for spring break aswell. soon it will be summer.

sorry for the long read/rant. just the 30 minutes i stood looking at the campus buildings as lifeless husks, and listening to nothing at all calmed me straight through. 2 AM and this once loud busy cause of the only real stress iv had in recent memory (thanks to apathy) is dead. maybe its a victory to me? during the day we are both busy, but at night its nothing, while im still here. last man standing. Maybe it comforts me to know that, like the campus, i may be busy as hell, but someday i can get some peace and quiet. maybe, just maybe its my love of the night retaking its thrown of imperturbability after having been usurped by alcohol ( the eraser of nights). maybe its a sign i need to get a life. i donno. nor do i really need to. it works. and im sorry i forsook it and its values so long ago. now before i lay myself to bed, wraped in the best drapery of my bed to sleep as if to make William Cullen Bryant jelous. i just need to say one thing.

I love the night.