Looks too British to me. I think you should include the kidney grille in your design. Not because change is bad, but because you are not working for BMW already. In order to successfully cause such a revolution, one would need to wrk from the inside. If you are thinking you would like them to look at your designs, then you need to design something that somehow is consistent with their existing lineup. Even as a portfolio piece, it is more valuable to show that you can adjust your designs to a pre-existing style. Creative freedom usually has to be earned first.
Good for a first stab, I guess. Work on your textures. Attention to detail is a must with these things.
Oh, and, longer.
Also, in industrial design you need to take into consideration both form and function. The hood you have designed is not ideal for air intake. I notice you have air dams that sit low, but that means that the design would demand that air travel up to the engine intake. GIven the length of the engine bay, there is no way you could fit intake conduits at a small enough angle to allow for good airflow. YOu would almost have the air have to take a right angle, which would absorb much of the air molecule's energy, and would result in limited airflow to the engine.
What did you use? Maya? Lightwave? 3DSMax? SolidWorks? what?