I think we've been doing it all wrong:
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first,*start out dead and get it out of the way.
Then you wake up in a nursing home, feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.**
You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School.
You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, then, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with luxuries like central heating, spa room service on tap, larger quarter’s everyday, and finally you finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.