First off, thanks for all the help.
Even though I found this odd, considering the flashing headlights, I got a neighbour to help me try to jumpstart my car.
As unbelievable as it may sound, that's all it took. Car started, and is working minus the car-clock being 00:00. Easy solution, but I've been around a few cars in my time, and none every reacted this way.
Thanks again, this was so odd, that I would most likely not even have tried jumpstarting the sucker. It just didn't seem like that was what was wrong...